The One With The Hymen

Those of you who follow my activity on Fetlife know I’ve had a little bit of a sexual crisis just now. For those of you who don’t, let me bring you up to speed. I know, from experience, that I don’t like genital stimulation, especially penetration. Despite this, I keep experimenting with it, and I often employ my orgasm friend, Alexander, in this. It’s problematic for a lot of reasons, one of them being that, for all his transpositivity and respect, Alexander is still a straight cisman, and has all the preconceptions about my body that go with that. That’s not the biggest issue, though. My inability to communicate what I want, and my neurotic need to repeat the behavior are much more serious.

One of the reasons I feel the need to employ his help in this is the need for a second opinion, which doesn’t work, because he is not equipped to treat sex as science. The reason I need a second opinion, though, is I’m fairly sure my hymen is still intact. And possibly a monster. No one seems to believe this, so I tend to invite them to find out for themselves.

Well, I’m going to lay this to rest right here and now. Blair and I took a break from our regularly scheduled thesising and bumming, respectively, to compare hymens. Blair apparently knows what a hymen looks like, and helped me identify which bits were hymen and which weren’t. (I confess, I don’t know what half of the stuff down there is. It should come with a manual.)

Anyway, upon closer inspection, it turns out that I do have a giant, monster hymen. My entire vaginal opening is surrounded by thick, fleshy hymen. In most people, the hymen is a very thin membrane, but not in everyone, which I think few people know. Mine honestly looks like an ovipositor.

We had a look at Blair’s, and theirs is thick and fleshy, too, but it’s been thoroughly broken. All that’s left are little fleshy hanging-off bits. It looks like one of those anemone flower things, really.

So, now knowing that my hymen is prohibitively tight, thick, and terrifying, I’m resolving to leave it the fuck alone. If anyone asks about it, I will proudly tell them I have Queen Elizabeth’s disease, as “the playwright Ben Jonson claimed that Queen Elizabeth I of England, the Virgin Queen, had a “membranum” that made her “incapable of Man”, and that a friend of hers, a “chirurgeon”, had offered to remedy the problem with his scalpel and that Elizabeth had demurred.

I always have enjoyed antiquated terminology. I love the phrase ‘incapable of man’. I’m also hopeful, nay, excited, that finally laying this to rest will help me feel even more comfortable in my stone, neutrois, gray-a status.


~ by onetiddlyridley on April 5, 2011.

2 Responses to “The One With The Hymen”

  1. In many cases like this, it’s best to have it surgically incised so that the whole ‘breaking’ process is less traumatising.

    I feel a bit awkward leaving my first comment on your blog at something so personal, but I guess that’s the way of the internets!

    • I don’t actually intend to break it. If I did, I would probably have already done self-surgery, because I’m autonomous and insane like that. But I am perfectly happy to keep it intact.

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